Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dating - Part Two

Yesterday I shared my Top 5 dating requirements and a few of the men who met those requirements but definitely weren’t my “Forever Men.” In today’s post I want to share where I have taken a stand, and what changes I have made in my dating life.

1. TAKE A STAND FOR SEXUAL PURITY.

In our world filled with pressure from television, movies, social media, even friends, it can be difficult to take a stand of sexual purity. Pressure in the dating world is intense. A common question I’ve gotten after I go on a first date is “Did you kiss him?” We are bombarded with the expectation that, because a man and a woman go on a date, there must be some kind of sexual attraction. And, since there must be sexual attraction, then we are expected to give in to a kiss, a harmless body exploration, or even sex.

While I haven’t been pure throughout my life, after renewing my commitment to God, I have an overwhelming desire to be sexually pure in any future relationship.
I am taking a stand against giving in to any real or perceived sexual attraction. It isn’t always easy, and unfortunately, some of my one-or-two-date-wonders failed to understand.

Here is an example of a text I received from one of these less than understanding men:

“If you were here, I’d kiss you right on those soft lips of yours.  It’d be soft but firm and somewhat passionate, such that you would know you had been kissed.”

Sounds romantic right? Something you would read in a love novel or hear on daytime television. Words most women might yearn to hear? To me, because I had already shared my desire to stand for sexual purity, this text actually made me angry and frustrated. This guy was funny, friendly, seemed to be a gentleman at dinner and stable.

Why did he have to go there?

It made my decision on whether or not to pursue a relationship actually quite easy. I explained to him, once again, my stance and thanked him kindly for a lovely dinner.

I then did what any respectable woman would do –

I cried!

I asked God: Why? What am I doing wrong? Each man with whom I’ve gone out on a date has met the 5 item criteria. And God, the first requirement was that they be Christians! So seriously, where am I failing?

God gently nudged me with his response. (I think he was gentle because he was freaked out that I was crying – I am NOT a crier!) He said:

It is not enough for a man to confess to be a Christian. He MUST be a God-First, Family-Second man. I honor your Stand for sexual purity, Robyn, but it is your criterion that needs adjusting.

2.  TAKE A STAND FOR A GOD-FIRST MAN.

It is not enough to be a Christian! This is a truth I know and embrace, so why wouldn’t I expect any potential Forever Man to feel the same? Since I am a God-First Princess Warrior, my Forever Man must equally be a God-First Warrior!

With that, my requirements were overhauled. To be considered for a date (which, in my case, is an interview for a Forever relationship, a man absolutely MUST:

  • Be a God-First, Family-Second man;
  • Share my desire to refrain from sexual immorality; and of course
  • Not ask to drive my car, until we are at least committed girlfriend/boyfriend. Only then would Roxanne (my Camaro) understand.


In a God-First relationship, Princess Warrior and Warrior alike will agree that, although sexual desire can be overwhelming, our desire to live for Christ is more important.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.  Colossians 3:1-4 NIV
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 1 Thes. 4:3-5 NIV

What about you? Whether married or, like me, out in the dating work, are you taking a stand for sexual purity? Are you being a good example to those who may be watching?

Father, I pray that as I take a stand as a God-First Princess Warrior, you will honor my stand and provide a God-First Warrior. I pray that, while I am a flawed and sinful human, that the example I set for those watching will be one that is pleasing to you and reflect your Kingdom desires.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am SIGNIFICANT in Christ. I will fight the good fight as a Princess Warrior for the Lord.

Do you or someone you know desire to become a Significant Princess Warrior? Consider supporting through prayer and/or financial contribution the publishing of Significance of a Princess Warrior, a 10-week study of Biblical Princess Warriors who have gone before. 

No comments:

Post a Comment