The phone rang and I didn’t recognize the number flashing on
the brightly lit screen. My first instinct was to let the call go to voicemail,
but I felt a nudge telling me it was a call I needed to take. The person on the
other end of the phone line shared some disturbing news – someone once dear to
me was in trouble.
As I processed the information shared through that invisible
cord connecting me with the formerly unknown person, I could feel the anger
consuming my entire being. “Here we go again,” I thought. “Why, after all this
time, must I still be impacted by this person’s poor decisions?”
Once the call was disconnected, I did what I promised the
caller I would do – I began to pray. While I began my prayer with words of love, my cry quickly
turned to frustration, judgment and (gulp) unforgiveness.
God heard my prayer. Instead of providing the comfort I
expected, he returned my words to me with condemnation. God’s reply was:
“Why are you so angry? Are you
praying to me with a clean and pure heart.”
It has been years since the person who presently needs help
had hurt me. As those years passed, I thought I had forgiven the wrongs, and the wrongdoer. But God showed
me that
the all-consuming anger I was feeling was a result of my failure to truly
forgive. With God’s help, I rose from all of the earthly results of the trouble
those years ago, but I hadn’t allowed Him to truly heal my heart – because I
hadn’t been willing to forgive like God forgives.
Jesus commands us:
“For
if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father
will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
I have been denying my own complete forgiveness because I failed- no,
refused - to forgive.
Jesus died on Calvary so that we could receive eternal life. On that
hill, as the blood drained for Jesus’ body, God’s forgiveness was demonstrated.
No matter what trouble we bring on ourselves, God looks down on us with the
eyes of a Father, just as He did with Jesus. Love, compassion, and comfort flow
from His Spirit. In return, God asks very little of us -
Jesus
replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love
your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:37-39 NIV
To love my neighbor, I must
forgive with the same forgiveness afforded me through Jesus Christ.
That night, as I began to
release forgiveness towards my former transgressor, I felt God’s grace remove
the anger I had been carrying for years. I returned to God with a new prayer,
full of compassion, love, and a desire for complete healing. While I cannot fix
the trouble my friend is in, I know the one who can – and I’m relying on Him to
heal my friend completely.
How about you? Are you carrying
unforgiveness? Is there someone in your life that remains in your thoughts,
giving you a sense of dread or anger? Seek God’s direction to help you forgive
as He first forgave us.